Sensitivity -

I am surprised sometimes, and I don't know why, with the hurt that those closest to you can inflict. It may not be intentional, but it happens. Is it because of my past (and current) treatment of those that are doing the wounding? Probably.

My prayer today would be that I would find the courage to ask for forgiveness for my actions of the past, and to immediately work on changing my attitude. To love without expectation of being loved back, and to recognize that one day does not a changed person (me) make. This change has to go one forever to impact those I've wounded.

Father, please tame my tongue. Make me sensitive to the pain that people are experiencing. Allow me the wisdom to use Your word to confirm trues or falsehoods that people are claiming on Your behalf. Do not allow me to rationalize my thinking, rather, let me stand solely on Your word.

Forgiveness -

While reading Psalm 51 today, and considering the man that David became, I wondered why don't I rush to seek God's forgiveness on an immediate basis? Why don't I go to Him as soon as I sin, knowing that He wants to forgive me? Am I afraid that I'll just sin again, and He won't forgive me then? Why don't I seek His protection as I am tempted? I know He provides me with the ability to turn away from that which is wrong. Why don't I seek His counsel when struggling with a decision? I know He speaks, through His word, and the benefits are pure and satisfying.

We know what David did, and for most, our sins would pale by comparison. I am not noting that fact to relieve me of my responsibility to seek His forgiveness, but rather, to point out that God does forgive! He forgave David from the adultery, the deceit, and the murder. David's lineage, as imperfect as it was, brought us our Savior.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Dear God, You know me, You know my intentions, You know my fears. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. Selah

New Year Coming -

A new year is just around the corner. At nearly 52, and with a fourth grandchild on the way, I want to approach the coming year with a sense of urgency. I do not want this year to be like so many others, lost as the end of the year comes to a close, having accomplished nothing for the Cause.

I hope and pray (mostly pray) that this years journey is unlike any in the past. I have lost a good friend this year (2008) to a battle with cancer. I have another friend from the past that is waging his own battle with this dreaded disease. As I get older, more friends (and myself) will fall into differing categories of illness.

I have a former student from my youth group that has claimed an alternative lifestyle, and I need to remember to love this person unconditionally and pray. I have other students from past youth groups that have clearly decided to walk apart from God. I'm guilty of that myself from time to time. I need to pray. God cares and wants to hear our pleas whether those pleas are for ourselves or for others.

I want to maintain relationships that are God ordained. I want to reach out to the lost, and to love those that others might view as unlovable (as unlovable as me). I am not looking for man's acceptance or approval, I just want to be obedient to God's word.

I do not want to be judgmental. God is fairly clear about that character flaw. I want to care first, and hopefully never think about counting the cost for doing what is right.

I want to do what Jesus would do. If I am not seeking His face in all I pursue, those pursuits will be wasted. The curtain is being drawn on this 'play' that is my life. I have no way of knowing how many more years of my 'show' are scheduled. Ten, twenty, thirty? I am not sure. What I am sure of is His love.

I am going to record my study time and my quiet time. As God answers my prayers, I'll share those victories with you. The answers may not be what I want, but I know that the answers will serve my heavenly Fathers purpose for my life.